3/14/2013

A Soap Box Follow-Up: The Classmate Apologizes

I received a lot of comments and emails after yesterday's blog post.

A lot.

In fact, I'm still trying to keep up.

But I'm not complaining because it clearly struck a chord with some folks.

In the midst of my dozens of messages about fundraising for adoption, I heard from my former
classmate.

You know, the one who triggered my whole rant blog post in the first place.

She said, in the course of three separate messages, the following:

1.) Her baby had significant health issues when it was born.

2.) It's hard to pay the money for hospital bills on one income.

3.) "We were going to adopt after being told I could not conceive. As we began the process, we
thought wow this is going to be a lot of money to come up with so we decided to wait for the moment."

She went on to say she was devastated that I took o ffense to what she had said about being able
to "a fford a baby."

While I appreciate the apology, the part I don't understand is this.

She readily admits that adoption is expensive.

So expensive that it deterred her from actually pursuing it.

The fact of the matter is this [and I wish I could throw in some fancy statistics here]:

Most people don't like asking for money.

They don't like asking for help.

It's a pride-thing.

And it's people who make ignorant comments that scare others from swallowing that pride to ASK
for help.

If the only people who adopted were those who could readily a ord the process, only a handful of
kiddos would get the opportunity to grow up in a loving family.

And that's not fair.

I would hate to see a child miss out on growing up in a good family because the family didn't
have the means to aff ord the adoption process, and they were too scared about any "attacks" they might have by asking.

Chris and I have an awesome support system.

We're keeping our friends and family close.

And we're lucky.

We know this.

But please -- on behalf of ALL adoptive parents, those familiar with the process, and those who
want to adopt but are scared about financially affording to do so
-- think about your words before you use
them.

OK, I'm stepping down from this topic [for now]...