3/19/2013

Baby Donation: Say What?!

The saga of ignorant adoption comments continues, as I'm sure it will for the rest of our adoption journey lives.

"So who donates the baby to you?"

That's what a man [who will remain nameless] asked me while I was at work last week.

[Insert: blank stare, forcing myself to not yell, "What the % #@! is a "baby donation?!"].

1.) It's not a "baby donation."

2.) We don't know who the "birth parents" are. Yet. (Assuming that's what you MEANT to ask...)

3.) I hope you're reading this blog for today's lesson on "adoption-friendly terminology."

[And no. "Baby donation" ain't one of 'em.]

Here's the deal.

I WANT to talk about our adoption journey.

With everyone.

But I also want to encourage folks to think about their word choices before using them.

I talked with Susan, our adoption consultant, about the annoying comment.

I wasn't hurt by it.

Just annoyed.

And whaduya know?

Turns out we're not the only ones who've had these feelings about terms used frequently in the
adoption process.

She sent me a link to a blog post she had written about positive adoption language.

Here's an excerpt from Susan's blog, "My Grace Filled Mess:"

"The truth is, birth parents make an adoption plan.
They are not "giving up" their baby.
In fact, the opposite is true.
They are making a thoughtful, 
self-less decision to choose parents 
for their baby since they are not in a season
in their lives to parent themselves."

So, to Mr. "Who's Donating Your Baby?" --

This is the long version of answering your question.

Did I answer it even?

I hope you realize that words can be more than just words.

And often times, our language choices can have unintended meaning.

Take the phrase "baby donation," for example...

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