9/29/2013

Taking a Breather

I started this blog in March with pure excitement.

[OK, we were nervous and impatient and worried and optimistic about where our adoption journey
would lead us...but we were also SO excited!]

I LOVE how so many of you have followed our roller coaster ride and immense amount of JOY
our family experienced when we met our sweet daughter last month.

Best. Day. Ever.

I've had a handful of emails and Facebook messages asking me why I haven't posted on this blog
as regularly.

To be honest, the biggest reason is I'm just trying to breathe.

And soak in every moment with my precious little girl.
Going back to work after only a week at home with her was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

I worry about her spending time with other people more than her own Momma.

Prior to bringing her home, I blogged a lot from home.

Now when I'm home, I simply want to snuggle up this sweet girl as much as I can!

I know you all understand :-)

But another -- perhaps more di fficult "hurdle"-- is a personal one.

While I've LOVED sharing our journey so openly, and I LOVE my job, there are pitfalls about being so forthcoming in the public eye.

I've been battling a few less-than-kind messages from readers who have oh-so-kindly o ffered their
two cents about our family.
One viewer is quite concerned that I'm not healthy enough to be Olivia's mother.

"MG" said basically admitted in one of her handful of emails that she's been comparing stalking
photos I've posted on my blog which led to an accusation of me being "too thin" to be a good mother.

"Shelly,
You are getting too thin.
Olivia needs you to be healthy.
Please also take care of YOU."

REALLY?

Aside from being a bit tired from adjusting to motherhood while working full-time, I AM HEALTHY.

I thanked "MG" for her concern, and said I hoped she took away more from sharing my family's story
than unwarranted concern over my appearance.

And then I just quit responding to her.

Not worth my time.

Another viewer reminded me that my skin color is diff erent than my daughter's [as if I was already unaware of this].

"I am so sorry to say but one day your little girl will come home crying because she has been mistreated because she is Black. It will break your heart just like it does hers and you will want to protect her but the world is very cruel."

I don't look forward to the day when Olivia is asked why her skin color is diff erent than ours.

Or the day she's chosen last for a teammate at school because she might not look like some of her classmates.

As much as I would love for this world to be a place where race doesn't matter, I am well aware it does.

And it angers me.

But frankly, what also angers me, is a complete stranger telling me how I'm destined to feel as her mother when this situation arises.

Unless you are a legit fortune-teller, keep your readings to yourself.

Being Olivia's momma is an honor.

And I'm choosing to think of the twists and turns of being her Momma in a positive way.

The day Olivia comes home and asks why her skin color is diff erent than ours is a day we get to tell her all about her beautiful birth momma.

And how special she is.

And how much she loves her...

It's a day we get to tell her about her birth momma's selfess choice to give her LIFE!

And what a gift she gave us!

I will soak up any opportunity I can share with our sweet daughter about how she joined our family.

What bothers me is when others, who don't know the intricate details of our adoption, seem to think
they know what our future holds.

Instead of sharing in our joy and happiness, they off er "reminders" of the obstacles bound to come.

While some people might choose to think the world is a cruel place, I'm choosing to focus on it being beautiful.

So beautiful that children, regardless of their skin color, grow up in loving families who don't look like their parents.

That doesn't mean I'm ignoring the fact that there will be hard times ahead, it just means we'll address
them as they come.

Worrying about the future isn't worth my [limited amount of] energy.

We'll learn as we go.

And in my opinion, there's nothing wrong with that.

For now, I'm focusing on this perfect little girl, our daughter.

And while what's ahead is unknown, I know we'll tackle the curve balls thrown our way together as a family.

So -- for those wondering if I've fallen o the face of the earth -- I'm still here!
Trying to balance motherhood and deflecting hurtful comments have kept me a bit preoccupied and honestly made me reluctant to post much recently.

BUT, I'm reminded that for every handful of naysayers, there are hundreds of you who have enjoyed following this journey with us, and hundreds of you who have covered our family with your prayers and encouragement.

And for that I'm so grateful.

I LOVE getting to share our family's happiness with you, and I have every intention of continuing to do so!