Kids or Not: Infertility is Never Fair

When I got married to my lovely hubby, I had an idea of what my future would hold.

You know, that whole three-kids-with-a-white-picket-fence idea...

The idea that doesn't. Even. Exist.

Yet [for some reason] so many of us yearn for it...

When we realized our marriage wasn't a fairy tale and that we'd likely never have biological kids, it was a tough pretty much impossible pill to swallow.

But gradually and slowly, our hearts shifted.

The image we had for our future changed into something even more beautiful.

And we met our daughter.

While I'm not grateful for the pain infertility brought with it, I am grateful for the lessons we learned because of it.

And I'm hopeful other couples are able to cling onto some sort of a silver lining, too.


I have a friend who wants to be a mom so bad.

More than anything, she wants to be a mom.

But she can't get pregnant.

I have a friend who's already wonderful mom.

She gave birth to a beautiful baby a couple years ago.

And she wants her daughter to have a sibling so bad.

But she can't get pregnant.

I have another girlfriend who has a son and a daughter.

She's nearing the end of those so-called "child-bearing years."

She's got her hands full.

But she wants more.

And she can't get pregnant.


I'm stuck on the sidelines watching an oh-so familiar story unfold for my friends.

I'm watching their hearts crumble and break into a million little pieces.

A million.

And I'm watching as they pick up the pieces and try to keep going.

But it's hard.

Whether they've got kids or not, the sting of infertility and brokenness is painful.

It is always painful.

And it's never fair.


My prayer today is this:

If you know someone going through infertility treatments, reach out to them.

Right now.

Put your hand on their shoulder and say, "I'm sorry about what you're going through."

Give them a hug.

Write them a card.

Show them you care.

Sometimes, it's hard to know what to say.

But sometimes we don't need to say anything at all.

Often times -- for your friends stuck in the thickness of life's trials -- saying, "I'm here for you," is simply enough to carry them through.

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