11/10/2014

Superman Was Adopted: A Momma Shares Her Heart

 
Meet the H. Family.

"We have an open adoption --  what we consider a best case scenario," said Erika who is a mom (and aunt!) through adoption.

Here's Erika in her own words...
Three Things I've learned about Adoption:

1. Biology means zilch when it comes to love.  

It is strange to me that so many people say if they can't have 'their own' kids, they don't want any.

The person that you are married to isn't biologically related to you and you love them, so what is the difference?

We already knew this wouldn't be any issue to us as we have a lot of family that we don't share any biology with, and it doesn't make us any less a family.

Now having our daughter just drives the point home.
"I am one billion percent sure I could never love a biological child more than my daughter.  

She is the greatest thing to ever come into our lives, 
and we would never pick a different way for her to have come."

2. Adoption is hard.

I'm sure a lot of people know that, but people say stupid things like how we had it easy that I didn't go through the labor and delivery.

I will say that feeling good after her birth was helpful, but we had two failed adoptions which is very painful.

We were inspected and questioned and had zero privacy with our agency.

We waited for about 18 months with every phone call and email being full of hope - and you can drive yourself insane wondering why people get picked before you.

That being said, its so totally worth it.

We knew it would be, but still a long process to get there.
3. Adoption isn't what you see on TV.  

Not that I expected it would be, but man there are some crazy examples.

For instance on Friends when the agency picked the wrong couple or when an eight-year old found out from strangers that he was adopted.

The show Once Upon A Time with the birth mom and adoptive mom fighting all the time and letting a 10 year old pick who he lives with.

It is also not the sensationalized news stories where the child will end up back with the birth family.

The news doesn't report the thousands of adoptions that happen smoothly -- just as they don't report on the flights that made it to their destination without issue.

It would be so much more helpful to see positive examples.

As my daughter grows I don't want her to see these things and think that her life isn't stable.

Adoption is a beautiful way to grow a family.

It is two families coming together and loving one little person.
"I know if my daughter had been raised by her birth family 
she would have been happy, healthy, cared for and loved, 
but I have the incredible privilege to be her mom, 
and I'm so grateful for it!"

As part of National Adoption Month, This Family's Journey is featuring families impacted by adoption and what they've learned along the way. Wanna join in? Click here to connect. Wanna read all the guest posts from National Adoption Month? Click here.

3 comments:

  1. My husband and I have talked about adoption for a long time, and just recently decided now is the time. What a perfect time, while you are featuring adoptive families! Your story is absolutely beautiful ad inspiring and so are the families you are featuring, Thank you.

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  2. Thanks for your sweet comment on my blog this morning, Mallory!

    I'm so glad you're finding these stories to be inspiring.

    Blessings to you and your husband as you pursue your family's journey.

    Shelley

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  3. I'm enjoying this series, and we also have open adoptions.

    To numbers 1 and 2, Amen and Amen. #3--I don't watch a lot of TV, so I guess I hadn't realized how adoption is portrayed, but I agree that positive examples would certainly be preferred--and realistic would be even better!

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