The New Momma Blues

Editor's note: This is a guest post written by the glowing momma of my sweet niece. My sister graciously offered to share her experience in hopes others may find hope and healing in their own journey to motherhood. 

Postpartum Depression and Motherhood
Photo: Aly Carroll Photography

I have been anxious or worried for no good reason"

Yes, very often.  Check.

"I have been crying, felt sad, and had difficulty sleeping"

Yes, most of the time.  Check.

There I was.

Sitting at my OB's office filling out the postpartum screening test for Postpartum Depression.

"You scored fairly high," my OB told me.

I was given options of counseling and medication as I sat in the room crying with my newborn daughter.

Backtrack 4-weeks; my husband and I welcomed our beautiful baby girl.  I was healthy.  She was healthy--and perfect in our eyes.

What more could we ask for?

We came home, and our baby girl wouldn't eat (I was breastfeeding).

She also wouldn't sleep.

In lieu of sleeping, she was crying.

My entire body was sore from labor and delivery.

My husband's brother died from SIDS; I was constantly checking to see if our baby was breathing [so much for sleeping when the baby sleeps].

My hormones were across the board, and my anxiety was sky-high.

I cried randomly, and then I felt guilty for crying.

I was expecting to experience the "baby blues," and I made excuses in my head that it was the sleep deprivation that was catching up with me.

Three weeks passed, and I had a complete breakdown.

I told my husband that I didn't think I was cut out for this job of mommyhood.

I called my sister, and I cried to her and my mom on the phone.

They all encouraged me to call my doctor, and I was given an appointment that afternoon.

I never thought I would be diagnosed with Postpartum Depression and Anxiety-PPD/PPA.

In opening up to my doctor and many mommy friends, this is SO common.
Postpartum Depression and Motherhood
Photo: Aly Carroll Photography
No matter the route of how you bring a baby into your life, a newborn flips your world upside-down--in a GREAT way.

But, it is OK not to enjoy every second.

It is OK to not feel that instant connection with your baby right way (you know, the one everyone tells you that you will have if you've carried this child).

My husband and I recently spoke to a postpartum class at the hospital where we delivered our baby girl.

I explained my experience with new parents-to-be.

My husband encouraged partners to look for the warning signs of baby blues versus something more serious.

We also advised them to go on a walk, get some sun, and take some time for yourself.

There is no shame in this diagnosis--it can affect anyone.  

Don't be afraid to seek help if you feel you may need it.

We all want to be the best mom we can be, and I knew I needed to do it for our little girl.
Postpartum Depression and Motherhood
I can now say that I enjoy our baby girl SO much, and I'm grateful.

I know there is someone reading that is going through this who needs this message:

It WILL get better, and it will be MORE than OK.     

If you have a story about infertility, adoption or parenthood, please consider sharing it via This Family's Journey. Contact me to submit your story.

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