To My [Infertile] Friend...

These past few months have been so hard for me.

So hard.

I know how much it sucks to be in your shoes right now. And how badly you'd love to be in mine.

Being pregnant with no medical intervention while your dear friend has exhausted all options and still can't get that BFP ("Big Fat Positive") she's been dreaming and praying about is gut-wrenching.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry you can't experience this miracle right now.

I'm sorry I'm one of your other friends who miraculously "got pregnant."

I'm sorry our joy pours salt in a wound you so badly want to heal.

I want you to know that it's okay to be angry. I know the anger you feel toward your situation doesn't mean you're not happy for my family and me.

I want you to know it's okay to skip out on the BBQ or the next gathering you'd see me at because it'd be too painful to see a baby bump.

I want you to know it's okay to remove me from Facebook, to block me on Twitter and roll your eyes when you see all the articles and tips I'm saving for surviving childbirth on my Pinterest page.

As much as I want you and need you in my life, it's okay if you decide to ignore my text messages or emails. To let your phone go to voicemail every time I call. To vent to your friends about how much this stings.

It's okay to cry and curse, "Why her? Why them? Why not us?"

It's okay.

Because I've been in your shoes.

I've felt the same way.

That same emptiness you're feeling?

That brokenness you're feeling?

That envy seeping into your heart uncontrollably? 

I've felt it, too.

I've prayed the same prayers.

I've walked the same valleys.

And survived the same trenches.

I get it.

And I want you to know that however you're feeling about me being pregnant is okay.
Related Posts:
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At the Doctor's Office
Our Move + Exhaustion

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