11/15/2015

Hope of Adoption After Infertility

Sometimes the road to building a family can be really, really bumpy.

That's been the path for Kim and her husband Wes in Iowa.

I love Kim's ability to reflect on her journey through infertility and adopting her son through a lens of hope, and I think it'll inspire you as well.
Here's Kim in her own words...

Adoption has been the biggest blessing in life next to meeting and marrying my husband.

We have a very special little guy and are waiting to add another child to our family to complete our family of 4!!

This has not come without years of pain and heartache as we faced infertility. But after the first time we held Gus all the pain was worth it all.

Every since I was a little girl I wanted nothing more than to be a mommy and my husband wanted to be a daddy to teach children about the family farm.

Many times I have wondered over the past few years if that would even happen.

I was diagnosed with Endometriosis when I was 19. I endured seven surgeries to remove the Endometriosis by time I was 30.

But I was always told with the right medicine I will have my own kids, it just might be a little harder.

From the start I knew it was going to be a challenge, but doctors can help and I had no worries.

After we started seeing a fertility doctor in 2010, I was diagnosed with Endometriosis along with PCOS.

So the battle to get pregnant began and we faced a long journey ahead.

We tried 3 rounds of Clomid (man that stuff makes you crazy and very hormonal), 4 cycles of IUI’s and then 3 rounds of IVF along with a round that had to be stopped due to over-stimulation.

Each new round offered another negative pregnancy test, and yet the doctor said, "Don’t worry, we'll try a different medicine next time. We'll get there."

We trusted them month after month after month...

I remember each time begging and pleading in my prayers to just let us get pregnant this month; I wouldn't ask for more, just please let it happen. I couldn't face another negative test.

Finally, I gave up testing. I just couldn’t take it anymore.

Then my cycle would be a day late only to get my hopes sky high and to be dropped to the ground leaving me feeling like a failure.

I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong.

Maybe I wasn’t laying down enough after the IUI or IVF. I could come up with a million excuses even though I knew that wasn’t the case.

It was just hard to understand why something so simple for others was so hard for us.

And why us?

After all these treatments and procedures and still no pregnancy, I was done. I couldn’t take another shot or doctor's appointment.

Infertility is a very lonely and dark place even with all the love and support we had.

It felt like no one really understood what we went through each month and treatment cycle.

I know everyone meant well, they didn’t know exactly what we were feeling. But we could have never gotten through it without all our family and friends.  

Every pregnancy announcement was another stab in the heart and pain like no other reminding me how broken I was.

Still, we were expected to put on a smile and be happy.

It’s not that we weren’t happy (I don’t want any of our friends to think that).

It was an ache for something we wanted so bad and yet a jealousy that in a way will never go away.

I knew the feelings that I was experiencing, and I can’t imagine what my husband was going through.

He was and still is my rock, and there is no way I would have made it through without him.

After 3 ½ years of continuous infertility treatments, we had enough.

I didn’t have anymore in me to try it again.

I was broken and grieving for something that would never be.

Can we ever really be happy without kids?  

Along our way we had met some friends new and old that talked to us about adoption and shared their stories and this got us to thinking...

Could our families and friends love our children being adopted like they would have our biological children?

Could we love them the same? 

We knew too that no matter flesh and blood, they would be our own.

In January of 2014 we attended our first adoption seminar and knew that this was the right thing to do. No questions asked except, "how can we afford this?"

It seems a little unfair.

We loved American Adoptions and chose them to help us with our first miracle.

After months of home study paperwork and stacks of documents to have signed, we were officially active in May!

The first situation presented to us, we had to say no. We were going to pass. To me, it was like another failed pregnancy.

Then two more situations came our way, and we didn’t get picked to be the adoptive parents.

July 4th we awoke to the text of, "Do you want us to present to a birth mom in Colorado?"

After much thinking and talking to family we decided to go for it. It felt right.

And then talking to the social worker, we found out it’s in California. We didn’t care where it was!

She chose us that afternoon to be his adoptive parents!!!!!

We were excited beyond belief only to have the end of the conversation be yet one more issue: The baby was in state custody right now, and it’s going to be a fight to let him be adopted.

Our hearts were crushed.

Two days of the unknown came down to the last hour: Either he will remain in state custody or the judge will let us adopt him.  

Finally, at 3:25 p.m., on July 8th, 2014 the call came to ask how fast we could get to California to pick up our son!

I’m pretty sure I didn’t hear another word as I was in complete shock.

Getting to call my husband and say, "You are a Daddy!" was the best thing next to hearing them tell us we have a son.

The next few hours were a complete blur.

Walking into the nursery to see Augustus Walker was the greatest gift in the whole world.

He was absolutely perfect and most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen.

I’m not sure where this past 15-months have gone since bringing Gus home, but it has been without a doubt the most blessed time for our family of three.

Seeing my husband and Gus bond makes my heart melt.

He has blessed our lives beyond anything and taught us to take life slower and cherish it all.
National Adoption Month
Life is a true blessing.

Going through infertility was one of the worst things ever in my life, but without every heartache and pain, we would have never been able to bring Gus home and love him like we do.

I can’t imagine a second without him smiling or laughing at the craziest things!

He is truly a blessing from God and has blessed our lives more than ever thought possible.  

We are now in the waiting process of adoption #2 and can’t wait to become a family of four, and Gus is going to be the best older brother ever!

National Adoption Month
Are you interested in submitting a guest post for National Adoption Month? This Family's Journey is featuring your stories all month long! Contact me for more details.