4/27/2017

Listen Up: When A Mother-in-Law Steps In To Be A Gestational Carrier

National Infertility Awareness Week is April 23-29. This guest post was submitted as part NIAW's theme: "Listen Up." For more stories and features on infertility and NIAW, click HERE.

Walking into my gynecologist office and sitting down with my parents, I prayed this was not happening.

This was my first gynecologist appointment, how could there be something wrong?

As the words “tumor” “probable cancer” and “prepare for the worst” came out of my doctor’s mouth I sat in silence.

I can count on my hand the number of times I have seen my father cry and that was one of those days.
At the age of 17, I had a hysterectomy.

I healed from the surgery, but the emotional scar ran deep.

I went through the next years of my life tucking the thought of never being able to carry a child away until I was 20 years old and I was in love.

I remember being so scared to tell Cody. I was so afraid he would not want to spend his life with someone “broken.”

I can recall on several occasions crying and telling Cody I would understand if he left me. I would understand that if he had to leave because being with me meant he may never have children. I felt like I was less valuable to him then a woman that could give him a child.

He of course told me I was crazy and he was not going anywhere.
When A Mother-in-Law Steps In To Be A Gestational Carrier
We married in 2012. Now he is stuck with me forever.

Before we even married, I began researching gestational surrogacy.

I defiantly had sticker price shock. I honestly saw no way that Cody and I would ever be able to afford surrogacy.

As each year went by, my urge to become a mother became stronger and stronger.

My heart began to break with each pregnancy announcement I saw.

Jealously began to overwhelm me.

I began to give up hope that it would ever happen for us.

I begin praying that if I was not attended to be a mother, that God would take this desire away from me.

Then in 2016, we had an offer from a gestational surrogate.
When A Mother-in-Law Steps In To Be A Gestational Carrier
My mother in law, Patty, offered to carry our child! Talk about mother in law of the year!

Patty had joked around about being our surrogate for several years, but I never took her serious or thought it would be possible.

After digging into the internet, news articles of other grandmothers giving birth began to give us hope.

I am so thankful those woman shared their story.

Sometimes the answers to our prayers is right in our face.

We had a heartbreaking failed transfer earlier this year, but we will be transferring again today.

I grew up thinking this would never be a possibility for me.

We have made it this far and I am not giving up now.

Some days I wonder why God has placed us on this path, but I must be still and know that he has me exactly where he needs me to be.

All of our journeys are different; but we are in this together.

1:8 of us struggle with infertility and many of us struggle silently. I stayed silent for many years because I felt, for a long time, that being infertile made me less of a “woman.”

Being infertile does not make us any less valuable and I have finally overcome that feeling (most days anyways).

Infertility is HELL, but we will be stronger from it.


Kayla Jones of Texarkana, Arkansas, had a hysterectomy at age 17. She knew her path to motherhood would be non-traditional, but never imagined her future mother-in-law would be her child's gestational carrier. To follow Kayla and her husband's journey, visit their Facebook page here

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